Shortly before writing this blog, I searched on the internet about the terminology of the person who hates himself. And viola! I got this greek term “Autophobia” and took the advantage of putting it as blog title as well.
Now, leaving the terminology aside, let’s dive into comfortable pain. Han? How can pain be “Comfortable” eh?
Here it gets dramatically interesting. Self-hatred is personal self-loathing or hatred of oneself, or low self-esteem which may lead to self-harm or not. When a person already hates himself, he continues to look for hints that will eventually end up hurting him. Because, it serves his made-up purpose of existing. In this situation, whatever the topic you bring out to discuss with them, they gotta only pick up the parts where they are humiliated or offended.
Weird kind of comfort, right?
It gets bizarre when the person starts to hurt himself with unnecessary embarrassment he picks up deliberately from his surrounding.
It’s not his fault tbh. Auto biasness causes drastic effects on his conscience, how can he save Himself from that? Do we get to choose how we think things and stuffs?
Can we control them or they are predetermined? Who knows! (Idk) But if the answer is, we can’t control what part of the conversation we give emphasis on, then we are kind of doomed. Right?
Okay let me explain this with an example. Lets take two friends. Friend X and Friend Y. Y hates himself, X doesn’t. They are having a conversation about another friend Z. The conversation goes like this —
X: Hey yo, have you heard about Z, lately? He’s been smoking a lot. I am really concerned about him. I’ve told him thousands of times to stop smoking. I wouldn’t say a word if he wasn’t covid positive. What do you say man?
Now, Y listens to this. Y starts blaming himself already because he’s the person Z usually have cigarette with.
Let’s analyse the purpose of X behind this conversation. X is simply concerned about his friend Z’s health condition and blaming Y for this would be last thing that X’d do.
Then, how can Y can save himself from this “comfortable pain” trap?
Can he ever escape from his own consciousness?
Can he avoid his logical biasness?
We gotta think.. Hmmmm